Dear Dads…

I read this and sent it to my other half. Us moms are hardly ever in many photos. It seems we’re always the ones behind the lens snapping photos of our beautiful children and their daddies. 

We need to be in more photos with our little ones so that one day when we are no longer around they have memories of us. To look back on remember how much we loved them. 

I often sit at night singing and reading to our little girl and think. These are the moments we need to capture these are the memories we want to be able to look back on when they are all grown up. 

Please dad remember to snap those sweet moments when mommy is ticketing them. Reading or singing to them or giving them cuddles or laughing with them. These are the things we want to remember and look back on too. 

Dear Dads

10 Ways to Guard your Daughter against Toxic Relationships. 

Wow. This really hit home, in so many ways. This is really something I will strive to do from the bottom of my heart. As if life isn’t cruel and tough enough. I hope that other moms and dad out there teach their sons the same values. 

10 Ways to Guard your Daughter against Toxic Relationships

Lewis’s Legacy Little Lives Matter 

Wow a very interesting article I came across and something I have done myself with a muslin!

This particular mother lost her baby son and has committed to helping others. 

This article on baby safety while sleeping in a pram during summer or out in the sun is extremely important to remember!

Did you know that by placing a blanket or muslin over your babies pram while asleep in their pram increases the temperature inside raising the temperature to dangerous levels just like a car causing baby to overheat and possibly death!!! 

If you ever see someone doing the same in hot weather in summer warm them to save a little persons life. 

Lewis’s Legacy Little Lives Matter

Mom shares heartbreaking death of Son to educate others on car seat safety

Wow. This is so sad but also a really great eye opener on car seat safety. Something I’m glad I took the time to invest in because nothing means more to me than the safety of our daughters life. 

5 point car seats are the best. We bought a Britax Römer Dualfix and it’s amazing and comfortable too.  So easy to keep clean as well. 

Mom shares heartbreaking death of son to educate others in car seat safety

How to defuse a child’s tantrum with one question. 

I absolutely loved this article and the woman who was kind enough to share this, because although our daughter can’t yet speak, I can see this being a great question in the further. 

She explained it perfectly. This is probably the first article I’ve read and thought this is a great thing to implement. Thank you. 

How to defuse a child’s tantrum with one question.

You can’t love too much: Attachement doesn’t slow growth, it fuels it. 

This was a great read about little ones and their attachments to us as mothers or parents.

This quote sums it up perfectly for me.

“Children can’t be too attached, they can only be not deeply attached. Attachment is meant to make our kids dependent on us so that we can lead them. It is our invitation for relationship that frees them to stop looking for love and to start focusing on growing.”

It was also a welcomed sigh of relief to know that despite what friends or family tell me, I know we have a healthy, happy little girl who is very much attached to me and rightly so. She has her moments when she just doesn’t want to go to daddy and only mommy will do. Secretly, I love that she’s a little mommies baby and so affectionate towards me, for now any way, it makes my heart melt with love for her. 

As much as we both laugh about it and think it’s cute and funny, I think people’s well meaning advice sometimes just causes unnecessary concern, that she maybe has too much of an attachement to me but at the end of the day I am her best friend and the only person she sees from the minute she wakes up, to the minute she goes to sleep and everyone else she see’s comes and goes. Daddy is obviously only home in the evenings after work and weekends which doesn’t give them much time together, so they have their own special little bond and relationship. 

It’s a great comfort knowing that our little Girl feels loved, safe and secure. It reassures me to know she’ll grow up to be a confident, happy little girl who knows she can count on me (us as a family) to be there for her and look after her and let her focus on growing up and learning. Being a child and enjoying life. 

You can’t love too much, Attachment doesn’t slow growth, it fuels it

The Case Against Ferber Sleep Training

I think we have been truly blessed with a little girl who sleeps really well. We count our blessing every day for such a content, healthy, happy little girl. 

I know friends and family that have little ones that have medical reasons for not sleeping well or that have never sleept through the night. I know that this causes many issues, like stress and postpartum depression, all the sleep deprivation leads to pure exhaustion and therefore parents become desperate and will try anything to get their child to sleep or sleep through the night. 

The truth is we as adults don’t sleep through the night and wake many times but are able to fall asleep again. We wake for water, to use the loo, a loud sound, too hot, too cold you get the idea. So why do we expect a baby to sleep through? 

I used my own method to teach our  daughter to fall asleep on her own. I used to hold her or rock her to sleep when she was a newborn. I read that falling asleep is something you can teach them to do from 6 months onwards. Sleeping through is also something they do themselves when they are mentally able to do so. So I used to rock her until she was drowsy and then put her down in her cot and pat her bum for a few minutes and then sit in the rocking chair in her room until she fell asleep. So she could see me and knew I was with her and eventually she would fall asleep on her own. If she fussed or moaned I would give it a minute or two and then pick her up if my attempts to calm and reassure her by telling her shhh… it’s sleepy time my love and start again if she didn’t settle by picking her up calming her down rocking tillshe was calm then stop rocking and put her back down in her cot. Sometimes she was hungry and would go down after nursing or giving her a bottle now that she is older and no longer breastfed. I never let her get worked up or cry for longer than a couple minutes because I know it would only take longer for her to fall asleep because the cortisol hormone increases in her system, making it harder to fall asleep. As well as all the other health issues mentioned in the article.  

She is generally pretty good at falling asleep on her own and sleeping through the night which she did on her own but there days that she won’t fall asleep on her own, except in my arms against my chest. In my opinion she is just a baby and only once too and obviously just needs comfort from me as she may not be feeling well, going through a mental leap, which I have mentioned in a previous post. The Wonder Weeks 

There could be medical reasons why a baby doesn’t sleep through which I will post an article I read. 

I don’t believe in the Ferber method because of all the negative information I have read about this method of sleep training. I just do not have the heart to hear my child cry like that. Cortisol levels rise in a babies body, their heart rates increase, oxygen levels decrease, their only way of communicating with us and trusting we will be there for them is lost by the cry it out method, when they are left to cry for long periods of time. This makes it harder to fall asleep or settle them as well. 

I know every one is different and has different reasons for using sleep training. But this article just goes to show how it does effect a child’s mental & physical health in the moment and later on in life. 

This quote from the article just sums it up for me  “Ferber now says in interviews that he regrets some of the advice he’s given. He’s been quoted as saying that he feels badly that child health professionals are encouraging parents to leave very young babies to cry, and that it’s ok to co-sleep.”

Harvard Researchers who examined emotional learning, infant brain function and cultural differences claim that babies who are left to cry themselves to sleep suffer long-lasting damage to their nervous systems. The researchers claim that this makes these children more susceptible in later life to anxiety disorders, including panic attacks. 

 I’ll let you decide for yourself. 

The Case Against Ferber Sleep Training

Your child is human too.

This is such a great article and I LOVE this quote. It’s so true! Read the article before making any assumptions that children shouldn’t be held accountable for disrespectful or bad behaviour but they are also human, just like us. 

“So often, children are punished for being human. They are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes. Yet, we adults have them all the time. None of us are perfect. We must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves.”

Your child is human too

Harvard Psychologists Say: Parents Who Raise ‘Good’ Kids, Do These 5 Things!

Another great article published by Harved Pyschologists.

I’m a firm believer in the 5 points they make. I think we all have our own parenting styles views and opinions in life but I think it’s safe to say these are the basic fundamentals. It’s amazing how much there is to think about when you have a child. You can do it by making sure it starts with you because that is where our children learn from. Us. 

Again spending quality time with your little ones. They are only young once and I want to spend as much time as I possibly can with our little girl. By singing songs with her, reading books, helping her work on the new skills she is learning at the moment which would be crawling or walking which ever she decides to surprise us with first. Which means spending most of my day bent over holding her hands for balance so she can practice walking everywhere. My back aches but she won’t need me to help her once she’s mastered how to walk because she’ll be trying to run and climb stairs and I’ll be chasing after her. I know I’m extremely blessed to be able to spend her first year with her to see her through all these important milestones and one I’ll never get back. So I’m making the most of ever minute I get with her during the day especially while the weather is good. 

Being a role model. I couldn’t agree more with this. My moms famous lasts words were always do as I say and not as I do, I laughed and still do because I believe that actions speak louder than words. Monkey see, monkey do. My mother was a great role model and it’s because of her I am half the woman I am today. She taught me to cook, clean, take pride in myself and the things that I do. I always say to friends and family. There is always something to be taken from a unpleasant experience. You learn from your mistakes and admit when you are wrong. Look for solutions to problems or issues. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off as I would say and try again. Remember to do the same with your little ones. They see everything you do and say. So think before you speak for words can not be taken back once they have been said and make sure you don’t do anything you wouldn’t want them doing. 

Teaching them values. Now this is something that always makes me think about my father and how successful he has been in life. He words to me the day I left home always stuck with me and were my biggest motivation in life to succeed and do well. To treat others the way I would like to be treated and to treat everyone with respect. To think about other people’s feelings and emotions. To be a reliable and responsible person that people can depend and rely upon. It goes a long way in life. By making us help around the house to earn our pocket money you soon learned the value of money and learned to appreciate the things you have. 

Teach them Gratitude. Now this is one thing I practice every day in my life and one thing I learnt on my path to happiness. The more grateful you are, the happier you are. The more you focus on the positive thing in life the more you attract into your life. I think I have learned some valuable lessons in life that have taught me to think twice, be wise and never to take anything for granted or to expect anything from anyone in life. But when you are kind and generous out of the goodness and kindness of your heart people will do the same for you. Just never expect it. 

Show them the bigger picture. To me that would be doing all the above. Be kind and considerate of others. Don’t be judgemental because you don’t know what struggles the other person is going through. Empathise with others. 

I don’t think these are that different to how our parents grew up and what we were taught growing up so let’s do the same and make sure we still have good children in this world. 

Harvard Psychologists Say: Parents Who Raise ‘Good’ Kids, Do These 5 Things!